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I didn’t even realize that I was crying. Who did I have now? Who will love me the way my mother had? Sam could never compare. Would he love me more or less now that he didn’t have my father to praise every little thing he did? Sam was eighteen and was about to go away to college. Would he still go? After that night, my life changed. I did, too. I wasn’t me anymore. I was somebody else. I was angry all the time, angry with everyone. All my friends were nearly afraid to talk to me. My teachers were afraid of what I’d do to them. I wasn’t me. One night at my house, all my friends were there. Francesca was there. She was always so pretty, but she didn’t like me that way. “Chris,” Francesca said. “We’re worried about you.” I sat down and gazed at her. “How come?” “Chris,” Francesca said. “You’re just not yourself lately. I know you’ve been through a lot and I know that’s probably the cause of the change, but you need help, Chris.” I glanced at Benny and Jake. They nodded their agreement.. For a while, all I heard was heavy breathing and then I heard them begin to talk. I quietly crept away from the scene and hurried towards home. I was dizzy, my mind was numb, my heart kept thumping, my young prick was hard as steel. I felt betrayed & I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to cry, I wanted to kill her, I wanted to tell my father, I considered loading a gun and returning to his trailer to confront the old man, but all these feelings were overwhelmed by the incredible turn-on the encounter had given me.When I got to our empty house, I was feeling hurt and confused and I knew I badly needed to do something, but I just didn’t know what. It took a few minutes to for me to catch my breath and as I tried to calm myself, I came to the realization that she went there for a reason, and that she must have wanted it, she probably even seduced the old man or at least initiated the encounter in some way. The thoughts of this were disgusting to me but deep down it was turning me on.
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